After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
