i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She bit a glass in half.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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