Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
