My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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