Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it's great music for shaving your balls
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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