yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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