I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
