you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
