check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
