3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
