8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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