you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
