So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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