Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
