I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
