Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
