Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
