Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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