But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Randomize