so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
