i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
