why didn't you poke me back
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
