Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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