guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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