I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
