thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
