i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
