So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
