you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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