I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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