I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
