He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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