That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
