im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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