I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
