And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
