return my video game
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
