I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
