He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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