it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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