is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How does it feel to date your dad?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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