Only a mothe r could love this liver
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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