Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
