i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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