just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
