I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize