When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just pee around me
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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