This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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