My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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