And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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