i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
