you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize