Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
this boner is exhausting
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
