I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
