Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
