So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize