I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
