Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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