Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I came so hard my ears popped.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
