Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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