booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
