there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
